5. An Additional Challenge to a Re-Centered Self: Trusting in God’s Good Character
One of the greatest theological, philosophical, and, ultimately, pastoral challenges is how to understand, account for, and respond to the evil that exists in the world. Of the many evils that exist in the world, we need to discuss and come to a better understanding of pain and suffering. There is no consensus as to why pain and suffering exists, and major world religions offer varying accounts. Christianity, too, offers different perspectives on suffering, with no one explanation as the only account.
The difficulties surrounding homosexuality require reflecting on a theology of sexual identity. What does Christianity have to say to the pain and suffering that sexual minorities face, at least those sexual minorities who choose to live within the traditional Christian sexual ethic discussed in this essay?
I suspect that one of the reasons that many people promise change in sexual orientation is that they have a difficult time with a theology in which God sovereignly allows someone to experience and struggle with an enduring or besetting condition, particularly if that person believes from their experience that they are “born this way.” This touches on both the sovereignty of God and on the question of causes. First, when it comes to a Christian understanding of same-sex sexuality, the assertion is not God made me this way, but rather God sovereignly allowed me to experience same-sex attraction. This reminds believers that their experiences, circumstances, and struggles do not surprise God. So a Christian’s experiences of same-sex attraction do not surprise God; but that is not the same thing as saying that God makes a person this way or that God’s intent in allowing same-sex attraction means that it ought to become the basis upon which to form an identity.
Second, the question of causes is important. §1.2 above discusses some of what we know and do not know about the causes of a homosexual orientation. There is much we do not know at this time. But the causes are likely a combination of factors from both nature and nurture. These contributing factors are not determinative, like eye color or hair color is determined. Rather, the role of biological antecedents may be that they provide a “push” in the direction of homosexuality for some persons. Other factors must also be in place, and these, too, vary in relative weight from person to person. Does this mean that the person is “born this way”? This is not an easy question to answer with a simple Yes or No. Rather, the answer may entail both Yes and No if we can come to a better understanding of what this may mean. Yes, in the sense that people do not choose to experience same-sex attraction; they “find themselves” experiencing attraction to the same sex. No, in the sense that the pathway to developing a homosexual orientation likely involves many different contributing factors from both nature and nurture, from both biology and the environment. As a person grows up through adolescence and into young adulthood, they have more choices to make that may reinforce experiences of attraction and that might begin to connect attractions with identity in a way that is a rather recent phenomenon. In this sense, it is no surprise to me that a person would report that they feel they were “born this way,” particularly as I do not see them making a conscious choice regarding attractions. As I have suggested, people do have choices to make about identity and behavior.
What are we dealing with then? We are discussing a world in which a person “finds themselves” experiencing attraction to the same sex. This attraction is the result of several factors that likely vary in relative weight from person to person. The attractions occur in a relatively small percentage of persons, say 4–6%, and only about 2–3% would say that their attractions are persistent and enduring enough to be considered an orientation toward the same sex. Does the fact that such attractions occur in nature mean that they are from God? Has God made them this way? Again, that is certainly a conclusion that some people say that they have come to, but other sexual minorities reject this reasoning. Instead, they argue that their attractions are the result of the fall, that they would not have had attractions to the same sex apart from a fallen world—much like the person suffering from depression would not contend with lower levels of the neurotransmitters serotonin or dopamine that would contribute to bouts of depression. These low levels are not due to the personal sin of the individual who deals with depression. However, they exist and would not have existed apart from a world in which the fall affects every aspect of creation, including neurotransmitters. People who suffer from depression have choices to make about how they cope with and deal with their tendency toward depression, and the church can become a community that aids them in their struggle in this area.
The Christian sexual minority experiences same-sex attractions. We have little idea as to the specific causal mechanisms for same-sex attractions or a homosexual orientation. These attractions feel “natural” in the sense that the person does nothing apparently to foster them initially. These attractions may or may not diminish over time. On average, females, more so than males, are thought to have a more fluid experience of their sexual attractions. Some people may experience a significant diminishing of attraction, but most do not appear to experience that change, at least not a categorical change from a homosexual orientation to a heterosexual orientation. So the attractions may not diminish substantively over time. If these experiences are not celebrated as an expression of God’s desire for sexual diversity, as some would argue, how do Christian sexual minorities understand their experiences in light of theology?
Any alternative to “God’s desire for sexual diversity” will likely begin with some acknowledgment that this is “not the way it’s supposed to be”71 (see Romans 8:18–25). This is a broader and more fundamental question of why God in his sovereignty might allow circumstances in which people experience pain and suffering. As Stackhouse observes, some of that pain is caused by the choices we make.72 However, we have already admitted that the pain for the sexual minority does not appear to be a result of their choices. They find themselves with impulses or attractions that they are then told not to act on as the expression falls outside of God’s intention for sexual intimacy.
The Christians I have known who have come to peace about a theology of sexual identity have been able to trust God’s character (Jeremiah 29:11; Romans 3:21–26; Hebrews 12:10). In other words, they experience God as trustworthy because of who God is, and they have faith in what God has for them in their circumstances, even when those circumstances include attraction to the same sex that they believe they are not to consummate in terms of genital sexual behavior.
One way in which Stackhouse discusses theodicy or at least what he calls a partial theodicy is to conclude after some philosophical analysis that the world we live in is “the right sort of world for our actual condition: a world that shows us our need and provides opportunities to grow up into personal maturity.”73 I will not be able to do justice to the arguments in this area of scholarship, but suffice it to say that the world in which we live is a world in which we come to a better understanding of our own limitations personally and as human beings. We live in a world in which we are capable of growing into someone better and more mature than we were previously; God may have a higher purpose in having a world like the one in which we live rather than a world free from such possible growth and maturity.
Stackhouse’s account reminds me of a letter I received several years ago from a family member that expressed similar themes. In the letter the writer notes the connections between the troubles we face and endurance and endurance’s relationship to faith. The troubles we face are circumstances that are tied to transcendent purposes to the extent that they provide an opportunity to develop endurance (the capacity to last, to withstand hardship), which ultimately can result in strengthening faith and Christian character (in this context, Christian character is, in short, Christlikeness). To touch on the kind of world we live in, the “right sort of world for our actual condition,”74 the author of the letter writes,
God builds into the Christian life aspects of character development which would not be possible (I think) outside of a fallen world. Here we must face situations in which we are genuinely tempted to throw in the towel, so that we can also have the genuine opportunity to press on, and in pressing on we gain a victory (even a small victory) of faith, and in doing that we develop our own Christian history, our personal Christian memory, which is an integral part of our individual character We can see what we’ve been through, and how God brought us through it, and we are ready to face whatever happens next, not because of ourselves, but because of what God already has done for us, and in us.75
This message applies to all Christians living in the kind of world we live in—a world in which we face troubles (James 1:2–4). Is it possible that same-sex attraction is a unique difficulty or trouble that calls forth a level of faith and endurance that can actually build or strengthen Christian character in the life of the believer who is dealing with it? My experience as a psychologist working with Christians who are navigating sexual identity conflicts is that, yes, Christians can and do grow in their capacity to trust God, in their faith in God as a transcendent being, and in their own Christlikeness or sense of Christian character over time.
Where people seem to struggle the most is when they respond to a cynical view of God that portrays God as cruel for what is characterized as essentially a “set up”—that Christians who experience same-sex attractions are “set up” (by God, because of his sovereignty and omnipotence) because they have same-sex attractions but are told not to act on them at least in terms of genital sexual behavior. The degree to which people struggle with this view has a lot to do with how much we value complete genital sexual expression and a kind of democratization of sexual self-actualization in which all people are said to have equal access to realize or actualize our sexual potential in the form of genital or behavioral expression. Any circumstances that appear to mitigate against that sexual potential are called into question, even if that has historically been understood as a Christian sexual ethic that is tied to transcendent meanings and purposes that preclude the possibility of genital expression between members of the same sex.
Ultimately, the cynicism directed toward God and the challenge issued to God is one that centers on his character. This is not exclusively the purview of same-sex attraction and sexual identity; rather, a theology of evil, the fall, and suffering raises critical questions about the character of God. These questions are raised in the contexts of war, genocide, cancer, schizophrenia, and other concerns.76 One significant difference between some of these concerns and same-sex attraction that is personally distressing is that in contemporary culture a high-profile gay community exists that provides a sense of identity and community to persons who experience same-sex attraction, thus challenging traditional understandings of theodicy as it relates to same-sex sexuality. Put differently, the topic of sexual identity has sharpened the question of theology for our culture today, as gay identity has become the fulcrum to challenge and question who God is and what he is calling people to in terms of faithfulness to his revealed will.
As we have been discussing, it is important to understand the place of sexuality and sexual expression in the life of the believer. We have also observed how this is not a discussion that is limited to the sexual minority. Indeed, the question of a theology of sexual identity also touches on how the church understands and values marriage and singleness. This is perhaps one of the most overlooked areas of scholarship, particularly in Protestant Christianity, that has great bearing on discussions regarding homosexuality. We turn our attention now to this topic so that we can expand our understanding of the possibilities for Christians who experience same-sex attraction.